Vibrators are not only a sexy bedside toy, but it’s also the shit. Yep, they can definitely increase your chances of orgasming solo or during sex, but there are tons of other ways to make use of them with a partner especially those who are refusing oral sex. To get the DL on the awesome sensations a vibe can bring, here, Athena Bradford, PhD, author of The Intelligent Woman’s Guide to Vibrators, and Susan Crain Bakos, author of The Sex Bible, offer some of their best tips that can often save the sexual relationship.
1. Start on a slow setting. And use the tip to circle your nipples and then your partner’s. As you circle, turn up the speed. Alternate between using the vibrator and sucking each other’s nipples: the back-and-forth and the heat from your lips feel amazing.
2. Go remote. With a Bluetooth or Wi-Fi-enabled option, you can wear a vibrator internally and have your partner take the controls for your toy’s speed and tempo. Or you can both wear one and blow a fuse driving each other crazy.
3. During oral. If you’re going down on someone with a penis, hold the side of your vibe against your cheek as you go in and out. The wetness of your mouth paired with the gentle rumbles will feel unexpected and arousing.
4. Turn it down low. Try using it externally on each other, with both you and your partner still wearing underwear. This is a really hot warm-up to test the waters of how they might react if using a sex toy is new for them — probably likely if your partner is a dude. Try rubbing it up and down the outline of his shaft, and he can try little circles on your vulva and around your clitoral area.
5. While they’re going down on you. Have your partner put the vibrator inside you angled slightly toward your belly button. The sensation will feel like fingering with long nails. The combo of stimulation will make for an incredibly intense orgasm.
6. Give your partner total control of the toy, and let them use it on you during penetration as if you are losing your virginity. Try having sex while standing or have your partner lie on their back, then get on top and lie so your back is against their chest. The entire front of your body is revealed, and they can reach around and trail the vibrator from your breasts to your clitoris.
7. Stimulate the perineum — the small patch of skin between his balls and anus. It’s super sensitive. Pick up a small, egg-shaped model (it’s good to start small if it’s someone’s first time), and whip it out while you’re on top. As you ride him, reach behind and hold it against that area.
8. Put a ring on it. If your partner is a little hesitant about incorporating a toy into sex, start him off slowly with a vibrating ring (Trojan and Durex make them, and they’re available at the drugstore). It’s a silicone ring you can slip around his penis that has a tiny vibrator attached. The pulsing will feel awesome at the base of his penis, he can now feel like a make-believe sexy chef. If he’s on top, it’ll hit your clitoris as he thrusts.
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