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How do I make sure I orgasm during sex?

If this question means how does a woman make sure she has an orgasm during a night of sex, then it’s about a woman figuring out what makes her have an orgasm and how to incorporate that into sexual activity with her partner. This comes easily for some women and not so easily for others.

We live in a culture where women are often more comfortable with romantic thoughts and less so with sexual thoughts that may be more effective in leading to arousal and orgasm. When orgasm doesn’t occur easily or naturally for a woman, I suggest sexual fantasizing, masturbation, use of a vibrator, and a visit to a sexual resource center. If you can do it on your own, it’s often easier to graduate to doing it with a partner.

If the question means how to make sure to have an orgasm during penile sexual intercourse, that’s a tougher question. I would suggest that this is not a worthwhile goal, at least all the time, as it could require a fair amount of logistics; nothing wrong with taking turns.

What do I do when the condom breaks?

First, consider getting tested for STDs if you were using it to prevent them.

If you’re concerned about getting pregnant, there are three ways to prevent it, explained here in order of effectiveness from most to least:

Go to your women’s health provider (doctor or midwife, nurse practitioner, or PA) and have a copper IUD inserted. This is about 99 percent effective in preventing pregnancy after a condom breaks. It can also be used for up to the next 10 years for contraception, if desired.  You can do this five to seven days after the condom breaks.

Phone or go to your women’s health provider and ask for a prescription for Ella (ulipristal acetate) a single pill that is effective in preventing pregnancy (less so than the copper IUD but more than Plan B). You can do this up to five days after the condom breaks.

Go directly to the pharmacy and pick up over-the-counter Plan B (levonorgestrel, a progestin). You can do this most effectively up to three days after the condom breaks.

Does penis size matter?

Like anything, it may matter to some people, like being thin or having a nice car might matter to some people when they choose a partner. Depending on how much certain looks matter to an individual, penis size might be considered too big or too small. It certainly seems to matter to some men for bragging rights and for the amount they trash talk about it. It may also matter for some men and women in terms of how a certain size penis feels during intercourse. Penis size does not matter in terms of ability to have an orgasm or being able to get a woman pregnant.

How do vibrators work?

Vibrators contain an electric or battery powered motor that produces vibrations. When the power is turned on the vibrating motor is activated, creating vibrations.

Can vibrators be used during intercourse? 

Yes they can. In fact, butterfly vibrators were specifically designed for this purpose. If you don’t have access to a butterfly vibrator, any small stimulator will do. Both partners usually enjoy vibrations during intercourse.